Thursday, September 27, 2012

Sad Q (Kim)

One of the saddest things I think there is is when the biological parents completely give up!  The two boys I have right now don't have visits anymore because the bio parents quit showing up, and there was court yesterday and neither parent showed for court.  I really struggle as a parent to understand how you can just give up on your child or children.  The court is now filing for termination of parental rights, which the parents probably wont even fight.

I know that the parents are going through a lot, and I know that everything they have to do to get their kids back is difficult, but I would think that the kids are at least worth some effort.  I have dealt with a lot of parents in doing foster care and have come to really like and care about many parents. In fact I have come to admire many parents because of how hard they are willing to work for their children, but not these parents, I am just disgusted with them!

I'm sorry if it sounds like I am rambling, I am just frustrated with this case, and this morning *Q was having horrible screaming fits and hitting and even tried to bite Chase.  Finally I sat down with him and asked him if he was sad, and he said he wanted to see his dad.  I asked him which dad (because he has several from being passed around) and he said his dad *Del (which is bio dad).  This is the first time he has mentioned him to me, but it broke my heart because I can't take away his pain.  I can't fix this for him, and how could you EVER explain to a 3 year old that the reason you can't see your dad is because he just wont show up to visit you.  All I could do is hold him and tell him how sorry I was, and that it was okay to miss his dad.

One thing I have figured out doing foster care is a lot of times when they are sad, it comes out as anger because they don't know how else to show it.  After talking to Q he seemed to feel much better, not fixed for sure, but just being able to vocalize his feelings helped.

Anyone else have any stories like this that they would like to share? I would love to know how you have dealt with situations like this.

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